July 27, 2010

Insights into raising children

This is a very helpful book for issues with children in the family. Helpful ideas and insights into children and adults in the growing process.

June 27, 2010

HELICOPTER parents be WARNED! You're setting yourself up AND your kids for BIG Fall.....

Good Parenting book especially for HELICOPTER parents. No more yelling necessary in our house! "B" doesn't happen until "A" is done! Plain & Simple. It works!!

June 21, 2010

Great Common Sense Tips

As author of Black Belt Parenting and specialist in character development, I can always appreciate common sense- easy to apply tips. This book has it all! Black Belt Parenting

June 12, 2010

Lazy parenting at its worst

I had high hopes for this book, but by the third or fourth chapter I kept shaking my head and thinking, "This is not parenting!" Leman repeatedly says that you should tell your child what to do and then turn and walk away. No discussion. If the child chooses not to obey, you deny him a privilege later. For example, if the disobedient child later asks to go to the mall, you should simply say, "We're not going to the mall" without offering an explanation. In Leman's words, "it's best if the child figures it out for himself" that his lack of obedience is why he's not allowed to do something. This is completely illogical! These are CHILDREN, and they don't have the mental capacity to understand that not picking up a toy four hours ago is why mommy is refusing to give her a cookie now. I also can't believe he encourages turning your back on your child and not offering an explanation. That's not parenting; that's the silent treatment. Leman is entirely focused on the behavior, not the heart. If you want an excellent book on parenting, buy Tedd Tripp's "Sheperding a Child's Heart."

May 27, 2010

not enough

I felt this was o.k., I wanted more thoroughness. It kinda felt like a summary but on the same side it was an easy read.

May 12, 2010

I feel conflicted.

Just to start...3 stars says to me, "maybe". But I am less than maybe and more than "no way!". If that makes sense...keep reading. I read through the first couple of chapters, not seeing anything that wasn't something I was already doing; maybe not in exactly the same way, but very closely. Okay, I thought, so my parenting needs a little tweaking. I'm too permissive in some areas & too heavy-handed in others. Then I got to the "Ask Dr. Leman" section of the book. On picky eating: "Because Sande, my dear wife, spent her time at the food processor when Lauren was a baby, making her own baby foods without all the preservatives and junk that go into the Gerber variety. What we ate at the dinner table, Lauren ate in mushed-up form. And it taught her to enjoy the taste of real food, healthy food." My baby did not eat jar food. I even breastfed. I kept a little food mill at the table, so that I could grind up what I was eating and give it to my infant/toddler. At 2.5 my child started to reject all but bland, beige, carby foods. Waffles, pancakes, plain noodles, and chicken nuggets are her diet. After this...What I began to see in the book was that if you start out right...your kid will turn out "right". Well, I did the "right" things...but my kid turned out "wrong". I read this book last year...my child is 6 now & is pickier than ever. I do agree with consistency...I also agree in ignoring some behaviors to correct it. I am a pro at ignoring tantrums. I can't simply tell my child to "stop" and walk away. Someone else parodied this with the comment "stop jumping on your sister"...only to have a bruised toddler. It was a joke, but very aptly put.

May 10, 2010

Excellent Advice - Easy to Read

I highly recommend this book to anyone with children or who plan on having children. It is very easy to read. It is very simple to understand. I wish I had read it years ago.

April 21, 2010

Helpful

The book overall is helpful. There are many variations of a child's behavior, so of course they can't all be covered. But many are. It would be nice to have more examples of the same type of behavior. However, the theory, "B doesn't happen unless you do A", does work. It does requires effort and patience on the parent's part. But so far, I've had great results. The book is a worthwhile purchase and I do recommend it. The best part of it, is the recommendation to remain calm, and consistent. This book will guide you on how to NOT to engage in a power struggle or argument with your child. The child may have a fit, but will not win. Soon the child will learn to become more responsible and self reliant, as well as aware that you are not going to "rescue" them and do their work for them. Because you didn't, they did slip and fall, and get hurt, embarrassed, whatever. But, they experienced the consequence. That is essential for life-long learning.

March 24, 2010

The Doc is in!

I attended a seminar recently with Dr Kevin Leman. If you have never read his books or heard him speak, I am hear to testify that he is a man of God that has truly used his gift to serve. I can't believe that he was actually able to get my church resistant 13 year old to church not only twice in the same day, but three days in a row! Yes, he's that good and his books are just as powerful. In three days the doctor showed me insight to the many roles of myself, my children, my husband, and our marriage that I had seen components of as a psychology student, but never applied to my own life and certainly not with the twist of scripture. Dr Leman's application of the word and psychology yield amazing results. His comic presentations serve some very hefty doses of reality, all with immediately applicable solutions. In a difficult season of family blending "Have a New Kid by Friday", "Living in a Step Family Without Getting Stepped On" all tied back to "The Birth Order" have made such a difference in my approaches with my biological children as well as my stepson. I wish I had these books 18 years ago when started the whole parenting dance. Crazy kids, aloof hubby, single mommy, grand parenting, getting stepped on, bullies, and birth order madness; he's got some real answers! This info is sort of out of my norm, but I was so impacted that I'm compelled to share, in hopes that those that need the insight will take a look and discover what I mean. I can't even express how blessed I was to see this man and what a difference he is making in my life. I am more than confident that Dr. Leman will do great things for others that choose to pick up his books!

March 24, 2010

Reality Discipline

I purchased this book because the title was very appealing. After all, who doesn't want a new kid by Friday? This book gives you great insight on how to deal with your kids without yelling, bargaining, and helps alleviate the frustration that comes when handling discipline problems from your children. I was in the midst of reading this book when my dog came to me whining because he was hungry. I put the book down and took him out to feed him. As I was about to pour the food into the bowl, I realized the bowl was shattered into many many pieces. I confronted my older son and asked how the bowl got broken. He looks at me with these puppy dog eyes and says, " I was throwing the bowl up in the air and catching it and it fell and broke." I was furious! We have tons of balls lying around the house, how come he couldn't use those for his playtime? I had to walk away to calm down, then it hit me, reality discipline is the best answer. I went back outside and told him that since he chose to play with the dogs bowl, he would have to pay for it. I told him that the dog didn't own much in our home, but he would sure appreciate a nice bowl to eat out of each and everyday. I instructed him to go upstairs and bring me his piggy bank, when he returned I open it and started removing his money. Teaching moment was coming, I could feel it! He said, "Mom, what are you doing with my money?" I told him that he needed to give me $6 of his money to replace the bowl. Oh...you would have thought I had sawed his arm off...the tears starting flowing. He handed me all the dollar bills and then I instructed him to count out all of the silver pieces. I left him with a heap of pennies. To this day, he knows that if he breaks something that doesn't belong to him he will have to pay for it. This book has taught me so much regarding how to handles issues with my children, without all the hassle. Recommend this book to anyone!!!